captainjamestklrk:

larrrrrrystylinson:

larrrrrrystylinson:

larrrrrrystylinson:

MY BIRD IS SITTING IN THE TOP CORNER OF HER CAGE CALLING MY DOG’S NAME AND ASKING IF HE WANTS A TREAT AND IF HE WANTS TO GO TO OUTSIDE AND HE’S TOO STUPID TO REALIZE IT’S HER SO EVERYTIME SHE SAYS SOMETHING HE LOOKS AT ME LIKE

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SHE LAUGHS EVERYTIME TOO AND NOW HE’S JUMPING ON ME AND BARKING AND GETTING MAD AT ME LIKE OLIVER TURN AROUND AND LOOK IN THAT HUGE ASS CAGE AND BEG HER FOR A FUCKING TREAT OR SOMETHING. 

NOW SHE ASKED IF HE WANTS TO GO FOR A WALK 

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SOMEONE HELP. 

NO OLIVER, IGNORE ECHO. NO ONE IS HERE 

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I PROMISE. 

I’M 1000% DONE.

"OLI GO CAGE." NO OLI 

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DON’T. 

GO. 

CAGE. 

(via minuiko)

theconsultingrenegade:

bestquius:

bestquius:

There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.

I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele

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(via the-whisper-men)