MY BIRD IS SITTING IN THE TOP CORNER OF HER CAGE CALLING MY DOG’S NAME AND ASKING IF HE WANTS A TREAT AND IF HE WANTS TO GO TO OUTSIDE AND HE’S TOO STUPID TO REALIZE IT’S HER SO EVERYTIME SHE SAYS SOMETHING HE LOOKS AT ME LIKE
SHE LAUGHS EVERYTIME TOO AND NOW HE’S JUMPING ON ME AND BARKING AND GETTING MAD AT ME LIKE OLIVER TURN AROUND AND LOOK IN THAT HUGE ASS CAGE AND BEG HER FOR A FUCKING TREAT OR SOMETHING.
NOW SHE ASKED IF HE WANTS TO GO FOR A WALK
NO OLIVER, IGNORE ECHO. NO ONE IS HERE
I’M 1000% DONE.
"OLI GO CAGE." NO OLI
do other girls actually go to bed with their bras on or is that just in movies because i would never wear a bra to bed its like going to bed with tape on your mouth
fun fact: since the bras I wore when I was younger had no underwire in them, i slept in them every night FOR YEARS
It’s days like this that I like to remember that the Irish government are ever proud of the Spire of Dublin.
It’s literally a 400 ft metal spike sticking out of the ground. It was supposed to be done for the new millennium but they didn’t start building it until 2002.
And it’s supposed to be self-cleaning but it doesn’t work and there’s no way to clean it.
There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele